Try hard life

It was one of those days were I decided  to be kind to my parents&do what they asked. So I had just finished washig the dishes and know was going to do the 33nd thing on my list of things to do oo be a good daughter which was picking the raspberries out of the garden. I have no idea how we have raspberries or how they even got there as we live in a pretty built up area but anyway. So I decide I’m going to o the extra mile I’m going  to make a pie. A raspberry and apple one for that matter. I’m gonna fill it with white chocolate hearts and put laticed pastry over it and its going to be a total bake off winner as its going to look fabulous and taste delicious. I got through the peeling of the apples and was very proud as I can’t peel a potatoes so I was kindve stressed out. But I did it! I made the pastry which I thought was grand did it for years with my grandma so I had this bit down. Well that’s what I thought. Quickly my thoughts turned to my day & all I had done. I remembered I hadn’t done my devotions& as I thought this the pastry cracked and fell apart. Then my thoughts turned to the fact I hadnt spent time with any of my people today.& how bad of a friend I was. Again the pastry fell apart. At this stage I was getting kindve flustered like God if you love me this pastry will work. On recollection that probobally wasn’t an incredible statement or a big deal. After all it was a pie for a family it wasn’t actually going to queen Mary berry or anything. I kept trying and trying to make it look perfect just as I have visioned in my mind. I kept rolling and working the dough and cutting it and reshaping it & you know what in the end it didn’t look very great. For me this was so hard as all i wanted wss for it to look like what i had seen in my head but it didn’t. It looked misshaped and broken. I had tried to hard.  Finally I sorted it out. I just let it be. I let it look the way it wanted to look and break were it wanted to break. This probobally sounds silly as its a pie. But when it finally worked I felt such relief and something that usually brings me such joy as baking had brought me so much frustration just because I had tried so hard to make it right. I’m the same. So many times. I try to fit into a Christian box that sometimes I forget that being Christian is so universal it doesn’t have a box. I forget that God doesn’t want my try hard life he just wanted my life. He just wants me. With all my flaws and misshaps. I forget that he planned my rescue before I even wanted him. He chose me before I ever knew the first thing about the bible. He loved me before I ever heard the word. God longs for me to live a Jesus filled life not a try hard life. Because when we live a try hard life we leave feeling not good enough. We bring ourselves to impossible standards that Jesus had to die on the cross to break. But when we live a God filled life we live a life full of freedom, purpose and love. We live the life we were designed to live.

Jesus petitions for you at the right hand of God he loves you always hold onto that!

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