Repentance is messy. It sometimes hurts you right down to the core. But repentance makes you feel human again. Sometimes I myself put myself on the Pharisee pedestal “well at least i’m not as bad as her, i dont gossip or swear so i’m ok & if I do no one realises so its all good.” You know what when we do that its not God who misses out – yes we break his heart but its really us. We Miss out On feeling His unfailing love. Standing in a position were He simply says daughter/son whom i am well pleased come Home. We Miss out on mercy and grace. The real kind, not the cheap kind that if we are truly honest still leaves us feeling sticky.
Jesus said the greatest commandment was ” love the lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul”. To love is to give up. To know you can’t control situations, or reactions. That you can’t change things. But that you love a God who firstly loves you more than you ever could, second who controls the earth and third who knows your heart.
He knows your dreams, your loves, even the things that make you mad. & still he loves you. Because his true messy grace is abundant in every way. Don’t cheat yourself out of that joy. It’s never worth it.