Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed? Choices of what you want to do with your life, the culture calling your name, friendships that are hard simply because you don’t believe the same stuff. Overwhelmed because the task of life is so big and you feel so inadequate and small.
And then I am humbled to remember that, that could be me, lying in the middle of the road, or crying myself to sleep or drinking myself to smitheries. To remember that I am saved by grace not by works, to remember that although yes I am called to be the light, the light in fact is the one who shines out of me.
To remeber that I am a complete sinner, who God chose. Who only got to meet my creater becuase he wanted me, because someone prayed for me, because someone daily gave up their time to ask for my fogiveness, because someone sat with me, talked to me, stayed with me. Someone who made it possible for me to feel bigger than myself. A God, Father and Provider who constantly sought the blackest, brokenness and deadest parts of my heart. That is why I push on. That is why I will continue to pray, continue to believe that some day, hopefully soon the people I love more than anything will come to realise that my God is not a God of law but a God who relentlessly loves who chose me through every time I mocked, hated and hurt him. Who saved me by grace, who planned my rescue before I even wanted rescued. A God who is lord overall who I have faith in. Who can do big things. So I will give all my life to honour and praise him, for life is bigger than just us. It’s bigger than school, friends, work, family. Because when you really get down to it people’s eternities are on the line. That’s too big not to keep going for.
He whispers in my ear that I’m fearless. Shares a melody that makes me sing It, it makes me whole it reminds me that I am all he says I am. – All he says I am.