I made a decision this week that I would greater process my emotions as cringy as that sounds… then circumstances as circumstances do hit me. This gave me a choice I could either process or not. Stay true to my word or not. Processing is hard. Being angry’s easy, pretending to move on is easy. Processing is Hard. Especially when you aren’t used to it.
Things can hit you a whole lot harder and faster than you ever imagined they could because you are so used to building walls and defences that deflect the things you need to process – until finally it comes at such a force it breaks the wall itself. Both are tiring. Both emotionally take everything you have. But one has a greater outcome than the other. Being tired -that’s ok. As long as you don’t stay there. As long as you remember the truth that he carries your burdens and calls you to take the weight of yourself and place it on him.
It’s ok to be real and vulnerable. Really know that today. It’s more than ok to deal with things. It’s ok to look weak to the world because the truth is your strength is not found in your weakness it’s found in the truth. The truth of who you are and how you are called to deal with things. As we hold onto the truths the weaknesses fall away and the tighter we hold on the further they fall.
Today if your holding onto a lot of stuff and can’t seem to be in yourself to let it go. That’s ok too it’s a journey it’s a daily discipline to not pick up what the world throws at you but the truth is the harder you hold on to the truth the further the lies fall. Even if today your holding onto the lie it doesn’t make the truth any less truer. Remember that always.
“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture” – Romans 8 v 31-39 MSG
I felt convicted that I walked around thinking I could do it on my own. Because truthfully sucking it up and believing that if you just move on things will be ok – is not giving the all powerful, all comforting, healer the glory he deserves. The world tells us we are to hold onto things. That if we just keep going things will get better. But we are not called to be of this world. Look at the bible. Abraham pleaded with God, Moses doubted God, Jesus wept. These are all real emotions that Men and woman after Gods own heart felt. We are called to be a people who aren’t afraid to feel. Feeling doesn’t change the fact that God is our hope. It doesn’t change that we have a joy and a strength that goes beyond our circumstances. Faith goes beyond our feelings yes. But feeling lets us admit we are human and that we can’t do it on our own.
For religion says try harder, put your hope in a binding law that could never set you free but maybe just maybe if you did more, achieved more, fought more, sucked it up more. Things would get better. That’s a load of rubbish and quite frankly just what the devil wants you to think. He wants you to believe you can strive for your own peace, create your own comfort. He wants you to believe that you can do it on your own and the truth is you can’t. There’s something comforting in knowing that you can’t. In knowing there is someone who chooses to become those things for you and give them to you freely if you simply come to him. He is trustworthy when the world deems no one trustworthy. He is peace when you feel restless.
“There’s no shame in looking like a fool when I give you what i cant keep to keep a hold of you” – Head to the Heart
Practice Godly discipline when dealing with your feelings this week. Keep going. Know there is grace for you.