2017 didn’t really begin as I had planned. Three days in and my plan – which I had not aligned with Gods plan is dashed. Should be – my plans are never as great as his. These first few days have been the most frustrated I have ever been with God – did you know that it is actually ok to be frustrated?
The reality is I have spent the last three days in undeniable pain. I live with that pain – wriggling in my body daily questioning God. But for the last three days its been the unexplainable monster that just won’t go away.
Last night I had enough. I was like this ain’t no bant. As I was lying in my bed I had a vision. It was a huge oak stemming from the bottom of my lungs to the the top of my chest. In the vision I was peering down at it. At the bottom of the tree there was a red viscous liquid/fire combo (explaining a visions hard man). And God said the fire is there (the pain) but it will never burn the tree (faith). The fire licked the tree but the tree only stood tall, swaying giving off this white aroma.
I was like YESSSSS JESUS. But then I woke up – in pain again. Yet this time I refused to stay stuck. Being frustrated is ok for a season but just like a deep friendship you start to miss the person during your frustration – you talk it all out. There’s nothing left to say. Only moving forward to be done. SO I turned on my song, anyone else got a song? It’s like a fight song – its assemble my armies I’m going to battle and all the other war cliche’s I could put a spin on.
I put on my song. Opened my bible. Prayed real hard. And began to read. That’s where we find sheep gate. Open your bible up. Or the app – the tabs can be moved. You can do it. John 5. You see God told me to open at John 5 becuase he knew that the very dream that had been placed in my heart – to walk into 2018 healed, was under attack. In John 5, Jesus walks in and does what Jesus does. He heals a man who has been in constant pain for 38 years (v5). When Jesus came, he came to do “the will of him who sent [him]” (John 6 v 38). In John 5 Jesus says:
“My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” – John 5 v 17
That man sat at a gate that meant the “house of mercy” for 38 years believing with every stir of the water that God heals. He believed with every movement of his body that he would be healed. He had the determenation and the faith to believe that even when those around him rushed into the waters before he could taste it’s healing power that he would be healed. He sat in his daily sickness but positioned his body to face the reality of healing every moment he sat there.
You see shape gate wasn’t a big beautiful gate, it was a small gate in the top right corner of the Jerusalems walls. It was almost out of sight. It was an unlikely gate for Jeuss to walk through. Yet just like at the coming of his birth God lowered his son to be welcomed into the world by the unlikey – the shepherds. Jesus lowered himself to bring mercy to the those who sat at the feet of the ultimate shepherd.
In my waiting. In the trials I will trust that it is well with my soul. I will trust that when the licks of fire rise their ugly head that God is and will always be who he said he was. I will believe for 38 years or however long it takes that God is good, that God heals and that His mercy is for people just like me and you. I will bind this truth to my heart, stick posters on my walls and reminders on my phone – if that is what he takes. To know, and believe the truth even when I am unlikey to ever understand. I will sit in sickness, but I will stand in truth. I will position my body to be a revelation of the one who is alive, true and working in every moment of this day. I will believe this till the day I die. And pray this revelation of truth will be true for you.