GRACE. I am so thrilled to explore this with you. Grace confuses me in more ways than one – two of the hardest characteristics I find to understand about God is His undeniable mercy and also grace. So this will be fun!
Rachel did an incredible job on Sunday in her post, and she mentioned the adaption of the story of Hosea and Gomer. The bible is overflowing with examples of Gods grace – however I love this story so have decided to recreate it myself.
I pray I will not take anything away from the true, blameless word of God but simply hope to display this story in an accessible way, which I believe God has given me for you. PS read the real word in your bible. Its about page 700 – promise.
One thing. I wholly believe the story we read in Hosea is an allegory. What does this mean? It’s a story to reveal a hidden message. Gods love for the nations. Through reading the whole bible and in line with the new testament I believe as Christians we are called into relationships with other Christians. Always seek wisdom when it comes to RELATIONSHIPS. (oi!, oi! )
Post Numero 1: Just the beginning, obvs.
The sky has always left me breathless, I never knew if it was the sunset or the flamingo pink colour. It was the kind of colour that made you think that the stars had aligned and anything was possible. On our street only one thing was possible. That you were a service to be given to others. Like a fast food restaurant. Someone came in – then they left, taking a piece of you that could never be returned. Other girls dreamed of confetti on their wedding day, my day was surrounded by needles – like most things in my life dreaming ended a long time ago. I sat empty on the sofa. If you could even call it that. The thread borne seats were my only place of comfort. I felt empty – the kind of empty that leaves you feeling numb, which in turn makes you feel even more empty. It is what I expected I suppose. It is the kind of empty caused by taking a tea spoon and emptying the ocean. If the ocean were my emotions and the disappointment of life was the spoon. It was terrifying. Terrifying, confusing and I was completely angry at myself.
I once heard of this ‘God thing’ from the neon signs across the street that was displayed on the warehouse which called itself a church. I thought I needed something to believe in – so that was good enough. No one ever crossed the street though. It was kind of like the story of the Good Samaritan. However the Good Samaritan didn’t exist – or maybe he did and was simply sitting on his cushioned seat in the warm warehouse, talking about Jesus. But not actually doing anything he would have done.
I often looked at that beautiful flamingo sky, that seemed like it was only ever over my neighborhood and thought that maybe God could make something beautiful again of me. I never know even now if I should feel guilty about my feelings – or what I did? After all there was nothing else for me. Everyone knew it. When your dad runs the ‘hotel’ it’s sort of a rite of passage to be part of it. Nature or nurture doesn’t tend to affect your upbringing when both amount to the same thing. Immoral in nature, Immoral through nurture. Sometimes the truth hurts just like James Morrison said it would. The truth hurts because truth doesn’t allow you to sit in your bubble much longer. Sometimes I wondered if the people across the street knew the truth? That I sat in rags while they sit in pews.
I never thought I needed saving. Definitely not by a man. Men for years had abused, robbed and stole every last thread of who I was. Apart from Him. He wasn’t the kind of man I knew. I knew men intimately in ways people in the church didn’t – I was grateful they didn’t. They didn’t know what it felt like to be looked at in horror yet objectified all at the same time. They didn’t know what it felt like to be left cleaning up after them in more ways than one. They didn’t know the heart wrenching power that feeling dirty held over you day and night. I was grateful for the day that the burden was placed on Hosea’s heart. Although his burden could never amount to the pain and fear I felt inside everyday – even after He rescued me. He was wholly pure. Righteous in every way. He led worship on Wednesdays, youth on Fridays – he could have had the choice of the entire lot from the church.
Yet He planned my rescue mission even before I knew I needed rescued. He chose me because just like the story with the sheep, He wanted to chase after the lost one. I always knew I was lost – but I never understood how completely I could be found. He may have only been one and rescued only one but I am still one. One for which the cycle is able to end. My children and there children – for generations will not grow up in the same pain. That is a miracle in itself. He couldn’t do everything but he could do something. He didn’t let the fact that he couldn’t do everything stop Him from doing something.
I will forever be grateful for that. Because he knew what I needed long before I ever did. He rescued me from the pit that I could never have gotten out of on my own. He chose me when everyone else used me. He wanted me when I didn’t deserve to be wanted. He showed me unmerited, undeserved, unearned favour that I could never repay Him. He did it because of who he was and nothing to do with who I am. He chose a relationship with my heart and not my behaviour. He loved every layer of me; even the ones I was ashamed of and have always hid away. He showed me grace in every way.
God has written your story meticulusesly without fault or failure. He planned your rescue before youe ever knew you needed or wanted him. Grace is so hard to understand because it is impossible to comprehend. That is the beauty of it all. Check back in, next Tuesday for your next installment of this story of relentless grace.
Love as always SSL x
*Day late. Apologies. As a blog we want to be a group of people who write based on faith not feelings. Yesterday it would not have been wise for me to post. We long to do things excellently and this means posting on time but sometimes wisdom means waiting a little longer. We hope it was worth the wait.